Wait.

"TAG! Hey everyone Nicole's it! Nicole's it, had a fit, kissed a boy and married it!"
"HAHAHAHA! Nicole kissed a booooooy!"
"Ewww guys!! That's gross!"

Oh how things do change. I remember the days when boys were yucky. When we didn't care about them giving us attention. When they had cooties and were weird. The last thing on your mind was who you were going to end up with in the future because recess was almost over and you hadn't had your turn on the swings yet!

Funny how now that's all different. Earlier I was thinking about this and how now all I want is to find that boy. All I want is to get the rest of my life started because it really does NOT feel like it's going anywhere very fast. I've realized that every day spent doing something meaningless is one less day of going out and trying to find him. Every day spent piddling my time away is one less day to love him. When will he come? When will he rescue me from all my thinking. Will he sweep me off my feet? Will it be love at first sight? Do I know him already? If not, when and where will we meet? Does he know Jesus? What does he look like?

The questions go on.

I was reading peoples' facebook statuses the other day and there was one that really stood out. It said "A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man needs to seek Him in order to find her."
I want to be that woman. I want to lose myself in God. I hope that the day never comes that I'll be satisfied with where I stand with Christ because that day will be the end of striving for more. So long as I strive for more though I will always be growing. As long as I'm growing, even if it's only a millimeter a day and I feel like I'm at a snail's pace, at least I'm moving on, pushing forward and learning. As long as I never stand still I will not be lukewarm.

Anyway, like I was saying about boys. I would give anything to find mine, kiss him and marry him. When I watch chick flicks I'm always struck by how much I want that love, how much I want to be cherished by someone that special to me. Then I chide myself because I'm getting ahead of myself and not waiting on God. I remember that He wants us to wait on His timing because it is perfect. I must be patient. It will happen when it's supposed to, all I have to do is wait for that day. All I have to do is prepare myself to be the woman He wants me to be for him. All I have to do is pray for him, read His word and try to grow in Him. Compared to what God does for me, I have life pretty easy. Even though it sounds easier than it is, I'm going to try to worry less about my future because I know His plans for me are good and prosperous and not harmful. He loves me and that's all that matters. I just need to wait on His timing not mine...

only thing between...

here we are
separated
by what makes us who we are
the current's so strong
there's no way we'll make it through
so we remain divided by the water.

so here we stand
same place we were before
same ground but different shores
and because these bridges
take so long to build
the only thing between us is the water